


Thrilling Shorts

by Kestral



Category: Thrilling Intent (Web Series)
Genre: Gen, Shorts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-12
Updated: 2016-08-11
Packaged: 2018-08-08 05:46:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7745527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kestral/pseuds/Kestral
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes I like writing a short fic of around 500 words, just because it's fun. They're usually leading up to a joke, or referencing a moment I wanted to explore further, or both.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Duck Tape

Ashe watched Kyr, her arms crossed, as he covered the newest hole in the roof with the strange grey tape so that water would stop pouring into the bar. Suddenly, something occurred to her.

"Kyr," she asked, frowning a little, "why did you name that duck tape?"

"Weeellllllllllllllllllll," Kyr started, thinking back to the many years before where he had come up with the utterly priceless invention.

 

The process around making tape is a sticky one. The process of making extremely strong and extremely sticky tape that does not contain explosives creates well, a sticky situation. This sticky situation involved a type of stick that Kyr was not sure how to remove from his person as he couldn't just detonate. He had stepped out of he comfort zone, and was covered in sap he had just treated to not be removable. He was out of the firing pan, and he couldn't catch on fire. Although that saying didn't really apply becauANYWAY–

At least the tape was done, and it was beautiful. It was a work of sheer engineering genius. There was no way that Don't would throw things at him for this gift, and then he'd finally have friends. Things were going to work out great for this inventor.

But wait, would she know what to do with it? After all, it was just a roll of grey stuff. In fact, she'd probably just think he was giving her a strange rock, and throw it at him, and then it would stick to him, and that would just be embarrassing. He needed to come up with a demonstration. He needed something to fix. 

As he wandered, deep in thought now, he heard a quacking. Suddenly, the universe seemed to align. Eggs! He could crack some eggs a little bit, fix them, and then give the eggs AND the tape to Don't! Then she would have tasty eggs to eat and bake with, and amazing tape! And no one could say no to eggs AND tape.

Kyr made a sharp turn away from the path, and headed into the marshy area, searching for a nest. As he walked, leaves and twigs stuck to his face, his cape, his arms, and just about everywhere else, but he didn't care. He was a man on a mission, and this mission was about to be a success. A nest was right in front of him, with two ducks on guard.

He picked up a stick to throw at them to scare them off, but the stick stuck to his hand. He opted instead for yelling at the ducks.

The ducks turned to look at him, and hissed. He had never known ducks to hiss before, and frankly it was the most terrifying noise he'd heard in 37 hours. He summoned his meager courage, thinking of all that was at stake, and charged the ducks.

The ducks charged back. They flapped their wings, speeding through the water and into the air. One duck slammed into him, intending to just bite at his face and swoop away, but it stuck fast. Quacking with great alarm, the confused animal began biting Kyr and struggling. Feathers went up the man's nose, and the duck's quacking was joined by his screaming. 

Then its mate attacked, and everything got worse.

 

"You see Ashe," Kyr continued, "one thing that you don't know about ducks is that they are incredibly loud. Or maybe you did know that about ducks! Anyway, I named my tape after them because it just makes perfect sense, I don't know why you even asked."

"Yeah Ashe," Markus said, leaning back in his chair. "It's just so obvious, I don't know why you asked."


	2. Wall Yelling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a moment from episode 130.

Thog leaned against the wall, watching "Batty" play with her butterfly knife. What had possessed Ashe to give her that thing was beyond him, as Ashe was already so nervous about the bat masked ban menacing her constantly. And he was really beginning to see her point about that, although he liked talking to Batty, in a way.

Inwardly, he cringed. Why had Ashe given her that name, and why was it sticking? Why did he surround himself with people who are horrible at naming things?

Speaking of Ashe, she was talking to Xin about something or other. Probably the condition of Iggy now, given that the ban had been motioned over. Thog continued to ignore the conversation. He was a little out of his depth here, with all the real trees and this spiritfolk shit and morals. 

"Thog," Ashe said, and Thog jerked to pay attention as he heard his name. "You're coming with. Iggy, you're coming with. Batty..." She trailed off. "Yeah. And Xin," she turned back to the insufferable smug blond guy. "I expect answers. Tonight."

Xin chuckled, amused by Ashe's unease with how time passed in these lands. An unease that Thog couldn't fault her for. As a classic Alarani saying went, "this shit's weird."

"Of course of course," Xin said, and Thog fought the urge to tune everything out once more, as it probably involved him now. "That is, if I survive this battle."

Thog lost his inner battle to not ignore the conversations once more.

"Look," Ashe said, with enough finality to draw Thog's attention once more. "I..." She tried to collect herself. "I'm just gonna go. You just come back to the village, answer my questions, and we'll be square."

Abruptly, Thog realized just how tired Ashe was. She was stumbling through every interaction, and seemed completely flustered and worn thin.

He moved up behind her. "Yo Ashe keep your cool," he said. Trying his absolute best to be reassuring, he rested a hand on her shoulder, not sure how these kinds of things worked. "This guy really rustles your britches, doesn't he."

"Rustles my what Thog?" Ashe turned to him, her eyes bleery.

"Your britches," Thog answered flatly.

"That's what I thought you said," Ashe said with a weak laugh.

"Fuck you are tired."

"I'm so tired," Ashe said with a sigh, every taught muscle in her body momentarily relaxing as she swayed a little on her feet. She straightened, and moved towards the gate. "Let's, let's just, how do I?"

She moved to the gate, stepping into a space that seemed to only be made from wood, with no odd arms or legs sticking out of it. She pushed pathetically against it, as if that would open the awesome and strangely magical structure. "How do I get this open?"

Xin laughed.

"I wanna go!" Ashe shouted at the door, her voice rising to the tone of a petulant child, the dark circles under her eyes lit by their constant glow.

"Oh it's a simple matter of the fort wanting to let you go," Xin said smoothly.

"Let me out!"

Thog had one of those moments of clarity then. Those moments where it seemed that you stepped outside of yourself, and realized with a sickening lurch that this was your life. Here he was, in the middle of a war in a foreign country. He had come there to get his employees a simple job and get payed a lot of money for it, and then they'd could all leave. Now he was in a fort that was alive, and he didn't know where two thirds of his employees even were. They were probably wrapped up in this conflict too, and probably getting themselves into way more trouble than he and Ashe were. 

And Ashe had almost died today, then somehow recovered through means he was unsure of. She had saved his life several times that day, somehow managed to keep it together while the fort was under seige, and now had finally lost it.

She was yelling, whining like a child whose parents had kept them out too late, at a wooden gate. But of course, the gate wasn't wooden. It was spiritfolk-mumbo jumbo, and it had people stuck in it. Gold and Rust clan soldiers stuck out at odd angles from the woodwork, their limbs twitching now and then.

Ashe leaned against the door, finally defeated by this unforeseen adversary.

Yup, Thog sighed heavily as the moment passed. This was his life now.


End file.
